Having A Guy Best Friend

Reblogging this post from my Tumblr.

I am one of those people who have best friends of the opposite gender. I am a girl and my best friend is a guy. It is rare to find individuals who share such kind of friendship. In my case, I am fortunate enough to have found a best friend that happens to be a guy.

Most girls hang out with their other girl friends who can relate to them and have the same interests as them. Of course, I also have my own share of girl friends and I am in a tight relationship with them. But, there is something with my guy best friend that makes him unique and sets him apart from all of my other friends.

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Having a guy best friend have its own advantages and disadvantages. Let me give you some of those (I am only going to provide five for each since there are a whole lot. This entry would get too long!)

First off, the disadvantages (let’s start with this so that by the end of this post, you’ll get why it’s cool having a guy best friend).

  1. They are too honest. Why is this a disadvantage? Let me defend that. We know that most guys are known to be more straightforward rather than cautious especially when it comes to expressing their opinions. Most often than not, they forget to be sensitive. There are instances when you would hear comments from him that, I swear, you would never have expected to hear. For example, you want him to appreciate your looks but he instantly tells you that you actually don’t look good. Haha! But hey, that kind of feedback helps if you take it in a good way.
  2. They find it hard to understand the “girl” thing. By “girl” thing, I meant those stuff that girls do that guys do not. They won’t understand why we take so long taking a bath, why we find it hard to choose the right clothes to wear for the day, why we wear make-up, the mood swings we often have and the like. And oh, how could I ever forget the times when our monthly visitors come! The cramps and all – they will never understand.
  3. People’s impression and judgments on your relationship. Other people who absolutely have no idea what kind of relationship you both share would think that you’re a couple. Even those who know about your friendship would think that you’ll end up together in the future. This is a disadvantage because people misjudge you. It will make the friendship awkward (well, not really). People will always look at you and keep track on what’s going on between the two of you even though there aren’t (really) anything at all. I find this one funny, though. I would explain further on number 5.
  4. Other guys will forget about pursuing you because somebody’s on guard.THIS. When other guys become interested in you, they hesitate to get near you finding out that you have a guy best friend. Guys know stuff about other guys (I think?). The best friend will always be vigilant of the other guy, making the latter intimidated and hesitant to get you.
  5. You can never risk your friendship to turn into something beyond “friendship”. The friendship that both of you share is special, something that’s very rare. You won’t ever want to break each other’s hearts nor give each other pain. Moreover, as I have mentioned in number 3, I find it funny because getting into more than just friendship will be very difficult. Know why? Because you know each other too well, you know each other’s secrets (even the darkest ones). Being too comfortable as friends would bring both of you to a very uncomfortable situation later on. Well, I am not speaking in general because there are couples who started out as best friends then turned into lovers that have magical relationships (fairy tale-ish, that is). In my case though, I don’t have the time thinking of that with my best friend. I bet he doesn’t have time for that too. I think it is overly awkward.

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Now let’s move on to the top 5 advantages!

  1. He listens to everything you say without judging you. You can tell him everything! He will listen to your rants, your comments, your stories, your jokes, just everything. And he won’t argue with you unless he needs to. He has the ears for your unending blah blahs and would always stretch his patience even though you sound stupid. In comparison with girls, well I found out that most girls find it hard to listen that much, we have little attention span for all the details of your stories (unless it’s about someone we like or anything about some other person of our interest, right?).
  2. Protects you and never lets anything nor anyone cause you pain. Probably one of my favorite perks. He would fight for you no matter what. He cares a lot about you. He could be like a knight protecting a princess from the cruelty of the world. (That sounds exaggerated.)
  3. Constantly worries about you and keeps in touch. Whenever you are not together, expect that he will ask you how well you are doing, if you’re in a good condition or not, and bugs you to share why you’re feeling this and that way. He’s like a father slash big brother slash boyfriend slash other special guys you may think of.
  4. You may not be a couple but it is an assurance that you have a partner for keeps. Forever. He will always be there for you, through ups and downs, like you are to him. He will always be your partner in crime, your twin brother. It seems like your internal organs are invisibly connected (hello, exaggeration) – you just cannot rip them apart easily.
  5. He will always be the guy who won’t dare break your heart when all other guys do. Of course you will have some other guys in your life, a “boyfriend” as we label them. These ‘guys’ may have the capacity of breaking your heart, there is still this one guy who won’t do that to you. Instead, he becomes your ‘band-aid’ and bring back together what was broken in you. He will show you that there are other guys out there who are like him, who wouldn’t break your heart to pieces but always keep the pieces intact together. And when you find that true love and that ‘worthy’ boyfriend, expect that the best friend will remain vigilant and of course, he will be as happy as you are.

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So yes, those were just few of the perks and setbacks of having a guy best friend. Do you have a guy best friend just like I do? I bet you can relate. To those people who don’t, find what’s great with your girl friends and you won’t feel the need of finding a guy best friend of your own. And those who are longing to have one, I am pretty sure you have close guy friends, you can start with that and establish a good friendship with them. However, as much as possible, avoid getting friendzoned… and avoid friendzoning (in case you get unrequited love with the guy or vise versa)! Not that my best friend and I did that. We just know a lot of people who experienced it. Awww. 🙂

Carpe diem,
Jhen