I’ve been through a lot of stress lately, especially at work. I got to the point where I cried out my frustrations and allowed madness to take over me. However, letting in the negativity did not help. I kept ranting to a colleague, I kept making excuses to not take full responsibility of problems at hand. I wanted to escape.
Whenever I am faced with a trial, it is normal for me to shut the rest of the world off. It doesn’t always mean when I am not talking or not smiling at you, I am taking life too seriously. I need people to understand that it is my way to recharge, to take time to think and process whether all that I did and will do were and are the right things to do.
This past two weeks were probably the most difficult I’ve been involved with in terms of my job. I thought I’ve encountered the most awful ones in my previous employer but this one’s probably is the worst situation I’ve been in. Not to disclose any information on it though, but honestly, I felt so trapped – I did not know what to do. I had no one who can fully understand to share it with. Well, I actually do, but they are not physically present to empathize with me. What I did was I kept everything to myself, bravely thinking, “I can get through this.” until I realized that, “No, I can’t. I need help.. right now.”