Midnight Thoughts 02: Fighting Inner War

Almost giving up. But when I give up, what will it cost?

Today, in the midst of uncertainty, God asks me, “What are you here for?” I was hesitant to answer. I am honestly not as strong as everyone else. I try not to take in and absorb any harsh, sarcastic words of falling short of my part – which already increases my anxiety. In effect, I wanted to distant myself from everyone as I thought my time and effort to are of no use.

However, as I am trying to sleep tonight, God spoke to me and He is saying that all of this is temporary. It is only Him who knows when this will end and that something better will take its place. He reminded me today that a lot of people did not give up yet – the frontliners.

God tells me that at this time, the more I am needed. If I allow myself to quit and allow all fear and negativity sink in, it will last forever – it will remind me for a lifetime how giving up costs much more.

Let us all do our part, pray, and work together to fight this virus.

Carpe diem,
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Writing Back in Trying Times

It is never unknown to anyone that a pandemic (Covid-19) has taken its toll in the world nowadays. Some people were forced to stay at home while some continued working – for the welfare of everyone – which include health workers, security guards, janitors, armed forces, and employees of companies that provide the most essential needs of the community. I belong to a company that manufactures one essential human need – food. Thus, our company continues to operate and produce food so that the local community and the neighboring areas will continue to have a supply of food. It is never an easy task, especially for me, an HR practitioner for my company. You are either loved or hated (mostly) by employees at these trying times. You are sandwiched between compromises and choices that can either make or break them and you.

Honestly, I cannot count how many times I’ve cried because no one was ever ready for this. No one saw this coming. No one wanted this. This situation is not only physically draining but also mentally. Everyone is surrounded by anxiety and fear already and it is expected that as an HR, I must have the strongest core. I admit I don’t have it. I am easily carried away by everything. And I thought to myself, I need a break. I need to shake this off so I can serve both the company and the employees healthily. What shall I do so I can turn myself away from all negativity (which I cannot totally avoid)? What shall I do that would be of help for myself so I cannot be carried away by fear and anxiety?

I kept thinking and I found my answer. I should go back and give time to one thing I love – WRITING (through blogging). It is my best avenue to express my thoughts and I remembered how this became my only outlet during the times when I have failed miserably. It is now a high time to do what I have put off when everything was normal. It’s at times like this where I realized that it is also important to make this time worthwhile because we’ll never know what’s going to happen in the next few days or months.

So today, I am starting again. I got inspired by a close friend of mine (Cha Esper) who started her blog in 2018 and still running it up to this time. She influenced me to blog again. Please do visit her blog HERE.

I read all my past entries and it’s funny because most of them make me cringe (I deleted some, by the way). I cleaned up the blog and I hope it’s never too late for me to ask you to join me (again) in this journey.

Welcome me again at my Version 3.0 Haha!

Carpe diem,
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Photo Credit: Positive Psychology