Cooling Down and Letting Go of Anger

Photo credit: Hey Hay PH – Mental Health Support

As I was scrolling through my Facebook feed, I came across the image above saying how it helps one’s anger cool down if s/he ignores talking about it in 48 hours. As they say, when you are driven by your emotions, you will most likely say the wrong words, do things impulsively, and make the wrong decisions.

I, then, reflected on how I deal with my temper. I laughed and told myself, “Ha! I wish my temper could extend that long.” I consider myself as a very patient person. I would like to believe that those who know me agree (I hope so). Most of the time when I am mad, I usually do not talk and be silent for around a maximum of 10 minutes and after that, I talk to the person right away and change the subject.

I asked myself why and dug deep. Maybe because I am a person who dislikes both disagreements and holding grudges against others. I always (as much as possible) extend my utmost understanding and reflect on the situation – is it worth my time and energy being mad?

The downside of which – it makes me gullible (I know, I know) – I keep getting that – it is being taken advantage of. And while I am okay with it, I always forgive myself for being unapologetically forgiving despite being taken that way.

However, I put an end to it when I know it is already too much. Too much that it hurts, that it brings-me-to-tears kind of anger, that it has totally torn my trust and patience apart. In reality, I did end a friendship to 2 of my former friends who I considered really close to me but betrayed me (and my other friends) when I never thought they would. Not spilling any details about it but having the friendship over gave healing.

Going back to the 48-hour cooling down or maybe for you, it’s less or more – do give time to cool down and let your anger go! Distancing yourself away from someone or something that made you angry brings peace. Believe me, it’s true when they say, “Don’t speak when you’re angry. You can never take back words said in anger.”

Jhen

After Hiatus | I’m Back!

I am back from a 6-month hiatus! So, hello (again) to you who is reading this from wherever you are! Just in case you are wondering why I took a break from blogging, you will know as you read on.

For the past 6 months, I chose to break free from all the chaos that was going on in the online world. Not that it’s all “chaos” but I chose to be in peace. Why? In order for me to heal – mentally and physically. The stress and anxiety that the pandemic brought me was too much for me to handle – especially as my duty calls for it. I have received numerous concerns (most of them were beyond my control) that I needed to cater to, acknowledge, and deal with. To cut the long story short, I have mostly tried beyond my best to give positivity and encouragement and in return, I mostly received (and inevitably have to absorb) negativity. It was a battle I needed to face even though I knew it was an internal battle between me choosing what is good for myself versus responding to the calling of what I believed was my purpose.

And boom! The moment finally came when I told myself to wake up and realize that it was not at all healthy. Entirely, it was not mentally healthy and it all manifested to my physical health. I was diagnosed with a condition (related to my monthly cycle) that was triggered by my stress, lost weight, I had sleepless nights, and even when I get to sleep, I dream of all the negativity and every waking day, it is what I immediately think of.

I tried to divert my attention to good things that I could think of – which included blogging, setting a little online shop that I could get busy with, and even enrolling to online courses related to my career. But they did not entirely help me get through. I decided to switch off anything in the cyber world – deleted some friends on Facebook that I don’t constantly connect with (from 1,000+ friends, it’s currently down to 357), I did not post so much on my Instagram and Twitter as well. I shifted to reading books and watching series just so I can take a time off from social media.

And eventually, as everything was becoming the new normal and everyone has adapted to it, I realized that healing is a decision one should make for himself/herself by putting things in its right perspective, having the right mindset, choosing the way one responds to different situations, and ultimately, reviving relationship with God through surrendering everything to Him. All of these I have done and have provided healing to my mind, heart, body, and soul.

Today, as I choose to get back up (and open my book again), I am praying that I continue to move forward and never worry about the future and to never let the fear get in the way (again) as I face the challenge in pursuing the journey towards where I am called for.

Welcome back to my journey! Hope to meet you along the way. 

Jhen