Getting Back on Track

Okay… I felt kinda embarrassed with myself as I opened WordPress again (after 2 months). I know I have committed to write more often but turns out, I haven’t. And so here I am trying my best to update.

What was up? I THINK I am probably the busiest, if not, laziest person I have been the past few months. Busiest – because I have too much stuff going on with my work (as I am still adjusting and in transition) and school which I have too many requirements and paper work to deal with. Laziest – because honestly, whenever I come home from work, I hurriedly prepare myself for bed and neglect any pending things I need to do. I JUST WANT TO SLEEP RIGHT AWAY. I know it’s not a good thing. I am pretty well aware of that. I procrastinate a lot and I admit I somehow have lost my time management skills and it is totally not helping me. I even forget (intentionally, most of the time) to do household chores.

This week, it may be weird for you, I looked at the mirror and told myself, “When are you going to wake up, girl? It’s you, you alone can get yourself back on track. This is not your usual self. Go and find yourself  again.”

It was amazing how God works because while I was looking at the mirror, I was actually kneeling down – which reminds me that I am in the right position to start everything anew again. The first step was so clear to me… and that is to pray. Oh how great God is! After I prayed, I received a message from my mom on Messenger. She was sharing how her day went. Our daily random chat consists of anything we can talk about. But that day was different as she suddenly shared to me something about being an inspiration to others – on a daily basis or if not, even in the smallest things we do. She continued, reminding me how important it is to glorify God in all that I do because everything that we do for God’s glory could inspire others.

I admit my heart melted at the moment. That was what I totally needed. I remembered a bible verse saying exactly that. As I grabbed my bible to check it out, an old bookmark fell. It was a bookmark given by our team leader during our church’s Triple “S” Baptist Youth Camp in 2011. And oh how God spoke to me that day! The bookmark says:

1 Corinthians 10:31 “Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God.”

That day, I have decided to get myself back on track and do everything for God’s glory… and to avoid complaining just because of restlessness and keep in mind that complaining will not do me any good and it will not glorify Him.

So far, I have managed to cope with the stress life brings and just be optimistic about anything that’s happening around me. Being spiritually-guided helped me get back on track.

I am eternally grateful for God’s presence in my life – be it through my family or in the smallest occurrences that happen in my daily life.

I am inspired again… because God is my eternal inspiration and I should hold on to His promises for with God, all things are possible (Matthew 19:26).

Carpe diem,
Jhen

Midnight Thoughts 01

Lately, I have been trying to figure out whether what I am doing with my life is all worthwhile or has it been quite well enough for me to be happy.

I realized I am dwelling so much in my comfort zone (for too long). I have always reasoned my introversion out just to keep myself from the awkwardness of adjusting to a totally different kind of situation. As much as I try to set myself to change my ways, I seem to hold back. Something just holds me back. And I honestly don’t know what it is.

I knew then that I needed some time off… from all of these. I wanna try something else, something new. Maybe traveling alone could help or meeting new friends, new things to do, new environment… Just all things new. I have always known that I’ve been wanting these things but whenever I try to, I seem to have this enemy in me that draws me out of it. And this mere awareness wasn’t enough help.

So, well, I am trying to figure myself out. Just like how I prayed I would. I know God will eventually show me His ways.

Carpe diem, Jhen