Cooling Down and Letting Go of Anger

Photo credit: Hey Hay PH – Mental Health Support

As I was scrolling through my Facebook feed, I came across the image above saying how it helps one’s anger cool down if s/he ignores talking about it in 48 hours. As they say, when you are driven by your emotions, you will most likely say the wrong words, do things impulsively, and make the wrong decisions.

I, then, reflected on how I deal with my temper. I laughed and told myself, “Ha! I wish my temper could extend that long.” I consider myself as a very patient person. I would like to believe that those who know me agree (I hope so). Most of the time when I am mad, I usually do not talk and be silent for around a maximum of 10 minutes and after that, I talk to the person right away and change the subject.

I asked myself why and dug deep. Maybe because I am a person who dislikes both disagreements and holding grudges against others. I always (as much as possible) extend my utmost understanding and reflect on the situation – is it worth my time and energy being mad?

The downside of which – it makes me gullible (I know, I know) – I keep getting that – it is being taken advantage of. And while I am okay with it, I always forgive myself for being unapologetically forgiving despite being taken that way.

However, I put an end to it when I know it is already too much. Too much that it hurts, that it brings-me-to-tears kind of anger, that it has totally torn my trust and patience apart. In reality, I did end a friendship to 2 of my former friends who I considered really close to me but betrayed me (and my other friends) when I never thought they would. Not spilling any details about it but having the friendship over gave healing.

Going back to the 48-hour cooling down or maybe for you, it’s less or more – do give time to cool down and let your anger go! Distancing yourself away from someone or something that made you angry brings peace. Believe me, it’s true when they say, “Don’t speak when you’re angry. You can never take back words said in anger.”

Jhen

After Hiatus | I’m Back!

I am back from a 6-month hiatus! So, hello (again) to you who is reading this from wherever you are! Just in case you are wondering why I took a break from blogging, you will know as you read on.

For the past 6 months, I chose to break free from all the chaos that was going on in the online world. Not that it’s all “chaos” but I chose to be in peace. Why? In order for me to heal – mentally and physically. The stress and anxiety that the pandemic brought me was too much for me to handle – especially as my duty calls for it. I have received numerous concerns (most of them were beyond my control) that I needed to cater to, acknowledge, and deal with. To cut the long story short, I have mostly tried beyond my best to give positivity and encouragement and in return, I mostly received (and inevitably have to absorb) negativity. It was a battle I needed to face even though I knew it was an internal battle between me choosing what is good for myself versus responding to the calling of what I believed was my purpose.

And boom! The moment finally came when I told myself to wake up and realize that it was not at all healthy. Entirely, it was not mentally healthy and it all manifested to my physical health. I was diagnosed with a condition (related to my monthly cycle) that was triggered by my stress, lost weight, I had sleepless nights, and even when I get to sleep, I dream of all the negativity and every waking day, it is what I immediately think of.

I tried to divert my attention to good things that I could think of – which included blogging, setting a little online shop that I could get busy with, and even enrolling to online courses related to my career. But they did not entirely help me get through. I decided to switch off anything in the cyber world – deleted some friends on Facebook that I don’t constantly connect with (from 1,000+ friends, it’s currently down to 357), I did not post so much on my Instagram and Twitter as well. I shifted to reading books and watching series just so I can take a time off from social media.

And eventually, as everything was becoming the new normal and everyone has adapted to it, I realized that healing is a decision one should make for himself/herself by putting things in its right perspective, having the right mindset, choosing the way one responds to different situations, and ultimately, reviving relationship with God through surrendering everything to Him. All of these I have done and have provided healing to my mind, heart, body, and soul.

Today, as I choose to get back up (and open my book again), I am praying that I continue to move forward and never worry about the future and to never let the fear get in the way (again) as I face the challenge in pursuing the journey towards where I am called for.

Welcome back to my journey! Hope to meet you along the way. 

Jhen

Day 04: My Dream Job | 30-Day Blog Challenge

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If you have read my Day 03 entry yesterday, I once dreamed of being a dentist but it all changed growing up. My career as an HR Practitioner is already fulfilling and a dream come true for me but there is always a passion inside me that is waiting to ignite some fire – to teach.

I am never used to speaking in public but whenever I am given the opportunity to do some lectures at work (trainings, seminars, orientations), I would most likely volunteer – as long as I have studied and know what I am teaching by heart. This is the primary reason why I took up a Master’s Degree – to teach future HR professionals in shaping organizations’ most valuable assets – human resources.

They say teaching is a very demanding yet fulfilling job. It can be emotionally draining at times dealing with diverse individuals, making dynamic ways to make teaching a fun learning experience to learners, and the struggle to keep up with the changing trends. As you know, anything under the sun can become obsolete.

Despite the struggles, I still find the beauty of teaching – in sharing knowledge, ideas, and thoughts to others. Why? Because of the following reasons:

Teaching can transform lives. Students do not only learn academically but also through you, they can also learn emotionally – to handle responsibilities, to grow up exploring new things, and to discover their potentials which may contribute to society.

Teaching can unleash undiscovered skills and talents. Teachers are often expected to give various methods of teaching. Gone are the days that students focus on the ordinary lecture sessions. They are more engaged when they are entertained. Thus, teaching makes you bring out your creative juices that you did not know you have.

Continuous learning. Learning does not stop when you teach. Our constantly changing world drives us to keep up with it. Thus, doing research, seeking opportunities to grow and learn, and to develop professionally make teaching more fruitful for yourself and for students.

Continue reading “Day 04: My Dream Job | 30-Day Blog Challenge”

Midnight Thoughts 03: Never Enough

Time check: it’s 12:48 AM and I am not sleepy yet. My surrounding is so quiet, lights are off, and everyone is asleep.

At this hour, I am thinking about the way I lived my life before this health crisis entered the scene. I wonder if I have lived it worthwhile or did I neglect the things I needed to be grateful for.

I realized that no matter how I thought I was doing good with my life, I fall short of too many things. I have not been productive enough, I was not the person I envisioned myself to be five years ago, I have not been very appreciative and thankful for the things that come my way, and I am not contributing enough to the society.

And I need to change it NOW.

This Covid-19 pandemic really has its own wonders of making people realize what we have been doing wrong when everything was normal.

Jhen

Midnight Thoughts 02: Fighting Inner War

Almost giving up. But when I give up, what will it cost?

Today, in the midst of uncertainty, God asks me, “What are you here for?” I was hesitant to answer. I am honestly not as strong as everyone else. I try not to take in and absorb any harsh, sarcastic words of falling short of my part – which already increases my anxiety. In effect, I wanted to distant myself from everyone as I thought my time and effort to are of no use.

However, as I am trying to sleep tonight, God spoke to me and He is saying that all of this is temporary. It is only Him who knows when this will end and that something better will take its place. He reminded me today that a lot of people did not give up yet – the frontliners.

God tells me that at this time, the more I am needed. If I allow myself to quit and allow all fear and negativity sink in, it will last forever – it will remind me for a lifetime how giving up costs much more.

Let us all do our part, pray, and work together to fight this virus.

Carpe diem,
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Getting Back on Track

Okay… I felt kinda embarrassed with myself as I opened WordPress again (after 2 months). I know I have committed to write more often but turns out, I haven’t. And so here I am trying my best to update.

What was up? I THINK I am probably the busiest, if not, laziest person I have been the past few months. Busiest – because I have too much stuff going on with my work (as I am still adjusting and in transition) and school which I have too many requirements and paper work to deal with. Laziest – because honestly, whenever I come home from work, I hurriedly prepare myself for bed and neglect any pending things I need to do. I JUST WANT TO SLEEP RIGHT AWAY. I know it’s not a good thing. I am pretty well aware of that. I procrastinate a lot and I admit I somehow have lost my time management skills and it is totally not helping me. I even forget (intentionally, most of the time) to do household chores.

This week, it may be weird for you, I looked at the mirror and told myself, “When are you going to wake up, girl? It’s you, you alone can get yourself back on track. This is not your usual self. Go and find yourself  again.”

It was amazing how God works because while I was looking at the mirror, I was actually kneeling down – which reminds me that I am in the right position to start everything anew again. The first step was so clear to me… and that is to pray. Oh how great God is! After I prayed, I received a message from my mom on Messenger. She was sharing how her day went. Our daily random chat consists of anything we can talk about. But that day was different as she suddenly shared to me something about being an inspiration to others – on a daily basis or if not, even in the smallest things we do. She continued, reminding me how important it is to glorify God in all that I do because everything that we do for God’s glory could inspire others.

I admit my heart melted at the moment. That was what I totally needed. I remembered a bible verse saying exactly that. As I grabbed my bible to check it out, an old bookmark fell. It was a bookmark given by our team leader during our church’s Triple “S” Baptist Youth Camp in 2011. And oh how God spoke to me that day! The bookmark says:

1 Corinthians 10:31 “Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God.”

That day, I have decided to get myself back on track and do everything for God’s glory… and to avoid complaining just because of restlessness and keep in mind that complaining will not do me any good and it will not glorify Him.

So far, I have managed to cope with the stress life brings and just be optimistic about anything that’s happening around me. Being spiritually-guided helped me get back on track.

I am eternally grateful for God’s presence in my life – be it through my family or in the smallest occurrences that happen in my daily life.

I am inspired again… because God is my eternal inspiration and I should hold on to His promises for with God, all things are possible (Matthew 19:26).

Carpe diem,
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